The Navigator's Shore

 Dearest Diary,

I’ve been looking back at the "Grand Finale" of the twin-mum years—that intense window between ages 13 and 16.

If the earlier years were about learning to be the Navigator from the sofa, these years were the ultimate test of that strategy. We were living through a global pressure cooker.

It was a perfect storm: two teenagers finding their wings, a world in lockdown, and the massive upheaval of leaving the home I’d lived in for 23 years.

I’ve written before about the "actual moves" and the logistics of those transitions in my previous blog posts, but looking back now, I see the emotional weight I was carrying. My body was reacting to the move, but my mind had to stay fixed on being the anchor for my children.

During those years, my three books—my "quiet victories"—were already out in the world. I had written and published them in the gaps between school runs and dance competitions, but I chose to leave them alone. I didn't chase the limelight or the "author hustle." My bandwidth was needed for the move, for the pandemic, and for my teens. I let the books wait in the wings while I navigated us toward our new home.

Now, in my 50s, sitting in the "Recliner Office" of the house we strategically planned for, I see that the "Twin Mum" series ends with that arrival. The move into this sanctuary wasn't just about a new address; it was the birth of Life with Sweetestmoondust.

I’m ready to stop leaving my books alone. Over the next six months, I’m taking one slow step at a time to bridge the gap between those old victories and the new chapters I'm writing today. The Navigator has found her shore, and now, it’s time to let the Author speak. 🌙✨

❤ 

Grit, Humor, and the "Stickability" Spectrum: Comparing the Journey

 Dear Diary, 

It’s the final Wednesday of March, and I’m looking back at the books that have shaped my 'mending' journey lately. From the mud of 'Code Brown' to the 'Retreat Bubble' of Sophie Kinsella, and finally, the 'Stickability' of Matt Stabb. It’s amazing how three very different voices can all point to the same truth: how we handle the brick walls defines our path."

The SanctuaryNavigating the Mud

When I read Code Brown, I was struck by the raw grit of the farming world—the literal mud, the physical strain, and the relentless advocacy needed to keep things moving. But as I turned the pages of Matt Stabb’s biography, Keep on Keeping on I realized the "mud" looks different for everyone. 

For Matt, the mud was the four-year struggle to find the right home and the fight to prove he could manage his own bungalow. It’s the same kind of "Stickability." Whether you are navigating a farm or a system that underestimates your ability because of a diagnosis like Cerebral Palsy, the mission is the same: you don't let the "mud" stop you.

Both of these men show us that advocacy isn't always a loud protest; sometimes, it’s just the quiet, stubborn act of showing up and refusing to be moved until you get where you need to be.: Found Family vs. The Bubble

In Sophie Kinsella’s Love Your Life, we see a "Retreat Bubble"—a temporary sanctuary where support is easy because the "Real World" hasn't crashed in yet. But the real magic happened when Nell got sick; that mismatched group of friends became a Found Family. They didn't just offer sympathy; they offered presence.

Matt Stabb’s journey mirrors this, but in a much more grounded way. His sanctuary wasn't a bubble; it was his independence. He found that independence through a community of staff and family who did more than just "care" for him—they actually listened.

For those of us with CP or Endo, a sanctuary is only as strong as the people who stand in it with us. Whether it’s a group of friends in a novel or the staff in a bungalow, the common thread is Respect.

For me, there has been so much realisation that we do need to use our voices either for ourselves or the community of the disabled or marginalised in any way. This is why I am using this space as well as my books to educate and support others. The changes from the previous books I wrote—Questions, More Questions, The Monster Within, or the trilogy The Foundation Years—show that shift. We aren't just surviving the "Invisible Cage" anymore; we are using our voices to dismantle it for ourselves and for those coming after us.

❤ 

Stickability in Conversation: An Interview with Author Matt Stabb

 Dear Diary,

it’s Wednesday, and I’m so pleased to bring you part two of my series with Matt Stabb. After last week’s review, I wanted to dive deeper into his journey. We sat down to talk about everything from 1980s train travel to the 'brick walls' we face when advocating for ourselves."

On Grit

Q: What was the "brick wall" that felt hardest to climb?

Matt: For me, the hardest bit was to prove to myself that I could achieve what I needed to. And back in the day when I did the Duke of Edinburgh, I felt that I to prove myself to people who were running the DoE, and that's why in my book the person who was giving out the awards said I had "stickability". So I proved that I could achieve my goal. I had faith in myself.

On Accessibility

Q: What is the one piece of modern accessibility... that would have changed your life?

Matt: On the trains themselves, it would be the ramps that we use today. And there is now assistance that you can book ahead, combined with train travel the disabled space in the carriages themselves, rather than in the guard's van! On wider issues, the Motability scheme (cars leased and adapted for use by powered wheelchair users) provides much wider transport access.

On Education

Q: Do you think living away from home for school helped or hindered your independence?

Matt: I feel living away from home did help my independence, especially when I left boarding school and went to Hereward College in Coventry. The transition to college taught me to sit on my own wheels. This was the beginning of making me who I am today. So yes, it did help me, but everyone is different and has different experiences.

On Family & Separation

Q: How did physical distance impact your relationship with siblings?

Matt: Looking back, I was always close to my brother and my sister. And I often think I wish that I been around more for my little sister when she was growing up. Obviously, I missed them when I was at school and college. But you sort of got used to it, and I didn't really think too much about it. It is what it is.

On Community

Q: Why is it important to understand that the "disabled community" isn't a monolith?

Matt: We can empathise with each other, but it doesn't mean we are the same. Even with CP, as you have pointed out, our experiences and journey are and will continue to be very different. But we still face the same barriers and attitudes, so as long as we have each other's backs, to me, that's all that is important.

On "Keeping On"

Q: What’s the one thing you’d tell your younger self?

Matt: You can achieve what you want to achieve; just keep being you and don't give up. Keep on keeping on!

❤ 

The Surgical Dilemma

 

Dear Diary,

I’m thinking a lot today about the things people don't say out loud.

When you tell people you have Stage 4 Endometriosis, they often say, "Can't you just have a hysterectomy?" They think it’s like taking out a faulty part in a car. I wish it were that simple.

For me, the damage is so extensive that it’s connected everything. It’s in my bowel, it’s wrapped around my pelvis, and it radiates through my back until I can’t tell where the CP pain ends and the Endo begins.

My doctors and I have had the hard conversations. Because the Endo has caused so much tethering, surgery is a massive risk. We aren't just talking about a recovery period; we are talking about the fact that I could wake up with a stoma because the organs are so fused together.

It’s a choice between the "devil and the deep blue sea." Do I live with the daily pain and the bowel issues, or do I risk a surgery that could change my life in a way I’m not ready for?

Living with Stage 4 means managing a "frozen" reality. It’s not just "bad periods." It’s a full-body management job every single day.

I’m staying in the recliner today. My back is screaming, my bowel is playing up, and I'm just trying to keep the "Manager" in me from feeling overwhelmed by it all.

love 😍 

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Support Groups

• Endometriosis UK: Leading charity in the UK. Helpline: 0808 808 2227.

• The Endometriosis Network (UK): Specialised support for complex decisions.

• Scope & CP Sport (UK): Advice on managing disability and health.

Note to international readers: Please look for support groups in your own countries. I can’t be certain of every single one, but you don't have to manage this alone.

Stickability and Strength: A Review of Matt Stabb’s 'Keep on Keeping On

 Dear Diary,

It’s Wednesday, and I am finally sharing my thoughts on Matt Stabb’s biography. Reading his book is like sitting down for a coffee and a chat; it’s ad-hoc and honest, just like life.

What struck me most were our "Mirror Moments." We were born in the same decade, both living with Cerebral Palsy, yet our paths were so different. In 1983, while Matt was navigating special schools and colleges, I was part of that first batch of children integrated into mainstream education. While he was being told to sit in the guards' van on trains, I was sitting in the carriage.

It makes you realise that the "disabled community" isn't one single story.

Matt talks a lot about "Stickability." He had to fight for his own bungalow, manage his own care, and prove to everyone—including the Duke of Edinburgh assessors—that he could do it. That "stickability" is exactly what I’m focusing on for Book 5. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about having the grit to "Keep on Keeping On," even when the world wants to put you in a guard van.

❤ 

The Invisible Flare

 

 

Dear Diary,

It’s officially CP Awareness Month. The world is turning green to support people like me, and I’m proud to share that part of my life. But today, my diary entry isn't about the green ribbon; it’s about the silent war.

I have Stage 4 Endometriosis.

Most people see the CP—the way I move and the physical effort of my gait. But they don't know what Stage 4 does behind the scenes. It’s the "Double Whammy."

When the Endo flare hits, it’s like a chain reaction. The internal pain triggers the spasticity in my legs, and suddenly, my CP is ten times harder to manage. My muscles lock up because they don’t know how to handle the deep, internal "grrr" of the Endo.

I have to be the Manager of two different wars at once. One is visible to everyone who walks past, and the other is a silent, deep battle with scar tissue and pain.

Today, the heat pack is my best friend. I’m sitting in my recliner, just trying to breathe through it and balance the needs of two very different conditions.

People ask how I do it. I don’t have a fancy answer. I just do it because I have to. One breath, one poem, and one day at a time.

---

Support Groups

• Endometriosis UK: Leading charity in the UK. Helpline: 0808 808 2227.

• The Endometriosis Network (UK): Specialised support for complex decisions.

• Scope & CP Sport (UK): Advice on managing disability and health.

Note to international readers: Please look for support groups in your own countries. I can’t be certain of every single one, but you don't have to manage this alone.