A Journey Through Time: Finding Strength in Love and Adversity

As I sit down to write this diary blog post, I find myself reflecting on a journey that began in the most unexpected of places—a local leisure center. It was there, as a late teen, that I met the person who has been my rock for more than two decades, my beloved spouse. At the time, I was still trying to find my way in life, grappling with the challenges that come with youth and uncertainty, not to mention battling undiagnosed clinical depression. 

A Supportive Partner 

During those formative years, I was not only searching for my path but also wrestling with the profound question of why I had been given the condition of Cerebral Palsy. While I understood the medical explanations, I couldn't help but ponder the spiritual significance behind it. Despite these internal battles, my partner remained steadfast, offering unwavering support and love that helped me through the darkest times. 

Building a Life Together 

In those early years, I trained as a business assistant, during which I encountered the harsh realities and prejudices that people with disabilities often face. Despite the negativity, my partner and I pressed on, eventually buying a house after four years together. Ten months later, we were married, embarking on a honeymoon that symbolized the beginning of a shared journey filled with hope and love. 

Challenges and Growth 

Our home became a place of laughter, learning, and growth over the next 23 years. Though we faced the disappointment of being unable to have children early on, we found joy in each other and in the experiences we shared. I worked as a customer service assistant for three years, a role that brought both satisfaction and challenges. Yet, like many couples, we navigated the early stages of our life together with resilience and optimism.

The Battle with Mental Health 

Life, however, is rarely without its trials. After my stint at the local store, I decided to pursue a career as a business assistant, only to find myself in a difficult work environment that exacerbated my struggles with mental health. At 30, I was officially diagnosed with clinical depression and general anxiety disorder, marking the beginning of another battle—this time, with my mind. 

Through it all, the unwavering support of my spouse has been my anchor. Together, we have faced life's challenges with courage and love, continuously learning and growing alongside one another. This journey has taught me that while we may not always understand the reasons behind our struggles, we can find strength in the love and support of those we hold dear. 

Each day, I am reminded of the resilience that lies within us all and the profound impact that love and understanding can have on our lives. As we continue forward, I am grateful for the journey we've shared and the future that awaits.

Clinical Depression With Cerebral Palsy

Cerebral palsy is my main disability but as I have mentioned for me clinical depression is one of my secondary health concerns.

More often than that though it is the feelings because of my disability that cause me more problems.

It causes me to feel like I can't be bothered to write or anything. I can't even read or watch TV. Sometimes I eat as much as possible or nothing at all. Which in turn makes me feel guilty for not doing anything. This means that it often is a vicious cycle and why I have not written much.

The move and settling in to my new house has caused some unforeseen problems physically with my body and cerebral palsy which is why I have not written as much as I would have liked or needed to make this site professional or financially respectful. 

However I don't do it for the money, I do it for the chance to teach people about life with cerebral palsy and what comes along with it. So in the next series of posts I will be going through how both bits affect me. I hope you get information about how one or both affect my life. And maybe understand both or just one of the conditions. I hope you learn or understand a bit more about life with cerebral palsy and what comes along for me. 

Old and new things! the challenges of life

 The Old 

There are many things that I would love to be able to do. Many of which are out of the question. And yet there are many that I can do. 

My favourite things are books, makeup and music just to name a few. 

So much that I watch a few @YouTubers such as @LisaEldridge @DominiqueSaches and @WayneGoss for my makeup tips. Musically I listen to lots of different types such as #Jazz, #Pop, #Classical, #Swing, just to name a few. 

Bookwise I read a few favourites, such as @TerryPrattchet, @AgathaChristie, and @SirArthurConnnanDoyle. Although I am endeavouring to read more and different people. However, I am constantly drawn to my favourites especially when I am feeling low. 

New Challenges Suffering from clinical depression as part of my life because of cerebral palsy I end up feeling like hiding away and doing nothing. Yet as a child I remember my mum using my great grandmother's sewing machine. I remember her making dresses and quilting using scrap material.

As a child with cerebral palsy my agility and control of a foot pedal for a sewing machine was inconsistent. Meaning that it would sometimes become impossible possible for me to control the material and the speed of it going through the machine. 

But the thought of being able to make things for me has always been in my mind. As a teenager, I would make my own jewellery. 

New Challenges.  Similar to the items in the pictures above. However due to my age now and the effect cerebral palsy has on my fine motor skills, making it is harder to do the fiddly things. They are harder but not impossible. 

So after going through a cognitive therapy course early last year I decided to go to a group set up by a local charity called #InvolveKent. In which I have been learning how to use an electric sewing machine. I have also become more able to use the pedal. which is a great thing to check my maintenance in certain joints such as the ankle So although it won't be as neat as some at the moment I can do it. Or as the saying goes "do now get perfect later". I think the quote was said by @RichardBranson but I could be wrong.  For me, this saying is so true and has a meaning that I am just learning. 

But since selling the house my sewing has stopped as my machine is packed up ready for when we do move house. Are there any challenges new or old that you have? I'd love to know about them. Love and Peace  Xxx