Why am I writing now?
The reason I am writing now is because there is a longer waiting period than I had thought or had hoped for. I wanted to explain why I haven't written for such a long time.
What has been happening?
I had thought we would have moved by now but that isn't the case. The local council has very limited housing and because the needs I have the number of homes are reduced even further. This has made things very stressful. I know that it's the right decision even though the timing is off in my opinion.
What's the plan?
For the next 6 - 8 weeks it is a waiting game. The reason is because of where we are now. Most of our stuff is packed up in boxes ready to go. We were to be leaving in late November. However, that did not happen. Then we had thought that maybe mid December like the previous one a couple of years ago but that's not happening either! Now we are not sure when exactly or where. Yet it will be within the next 6-8 weeks. This means that we are where we are for the holiday season.
Feelings about it!
There's so many different types of feelings going on within me and the family as a whole. The feelings include the following.
- Anger
- Frustration
- Worry
- Annoyance
- Acception
- Excitement
- Happiness
All of these feelings are felt all at once and individually. Throughout the day and sometimes at night. Meaning that I find it difficult to get to sleep.
All of these feelings are normal, I know. Yet they can really disrupt me.
Why?
This is because they turn my attention to them rather than what I want to do, which is either writing, recording my radio show or spending time with the rest of the family.
The meantime!
During this time I won't be writing much if at all during this time as boxes are everywhere and making me unstable. So I am just sitting, watching TV, reading, listening to podcasts, audiobooks as well as slowly getting ready for the move. And doing lots of self development stuff as the cerebral palsy has many secondary problems. Some of them are mental health issues and others are physical problems that have occurred over time. These include for me the following:
- General anxiety disorder.
- Clinical depression.
- Panic attacks.
- Bone damage.
- Arthritis.
- Post impairment syndrome.
- Bone disfigurement.
Some of these have been life long and some of them have been arriving the older I get. These include:
- Bone disfigurement
- Arthritis
- Post impairment syndrome.
What does this mean?
For me this has meant that with the stress of everything regarding the move has meant that my moods and physical ability has been restricted as I have either been trying to help pack up again or felt so awful that I have not been able to do anything.
What's next?
So while I am staying relatively quiet except on Instagram @sweetestmoonuk where you can find me daily.
