Sunday, January 9

Dealing with depression and childhood with cerebral palsy

So your child has cp and is mentally struggling:





With this in mind, you're gonna have to think about how things are with your child and cerebral palsy. Want to ensure that the child themselves is happy and well adjusted to the environment and people around them. If this is not done then the child could develop depression at a very early age due to the lack of knowledge for themselves about their own condition and why people are treating them differently.



Equality in the home:




Whilst doing everything possible for the educational and physical side of the person with the condition cerebral palsy, people often forget the mental-emotional side of the condition. Because of this, it can be seen as just a physical condition that doesn't initially change yet when older secondary problems occur. It should be acknowledged that equality in the home must be done both ways, not just treating the child as a normal child without any condition. But remembering that they also do have a condition and the emotional side of things can take their toll. Meaning praising a child enough to gain confidence and independence as much as possible. While also realising that they do need help in all parts of life even at this early age.


Explaining cerebral palsy to the child:


So is the child able to do things and seem happy about what they're doing? Or do you see the child struggling and having frustration and unable to say exactly what they want or do?  If this is the case, this is when cerebral palsy can start the emotional roller coaster. 

Several things can be done to help the situation along in the early stages. Explaining to the child that they are different to a certain extent but they are capable of doing things although differently from everyone else. So this might be walking, talking or just moving around in one place. As I have written before, there are many different types of cerebral palsy.

And depression can be of different strengths as well.


It is at this point that it is the easiest to connect to the port of call to help guide the child through the difficult times ahead.  It was thought not so long ago that dealing with social services and medical professionals is a no-no. However, now it is known that actually, it is best to start early to stop any mental illness from becoming very severe. Therefore, having cerebral palsy and mood swings with frustration because of the condition can help both sides of the equation. Because both sides are learning at the same point, although some should be known more now than it was in the past.  However, there are still people in the medical profession who don't know or understand the condition. Therefore they would not know how to deal with the emotional distress and frustration from the patient's point of view.  It is at this point that you really start to push for all access areas in the person's life because more knowledge is known of cerebral palsy in childhood. Yet the medical profession does not know the emotional side of things. 


This is why I mention both sides are learning. Talking to other members of the family and friends and explaining what is needed from them emotionally because they may see the condition and not the person. Some see it the other way around too.


The medical professionals:


Some of the medical professionals who can help you are listed below here in the UK:


  • General practitioner

  • Social worker

  • Consultant


Some charities can help. those are listed below:


  • Mind

  • Childline

  • Carers support groups

  • Scope

  • Facebook groups




Seeing the struggle and feeling frustrated.


This is where you will feel like it could be a double-edged sword. Yes, you are a parent or guardian of a child who is different enough for you to struggle mentally yourself. So use those places to help you deal with things as they come along as well. Except for childline. Remembering that the child is not to blame for how they were born differently is an important thing to keep in mind as they will feed emotionally off those feelings and that can also trigger depression.


Giving independence


If the child can do things then let them. It will give them a sense of independence, self-worth and much more. Also, remember though that things will take longer for them to do. So if you are going out in a bit of a rush then try to remember that they will take longer to do the thing you asked. It might be easier at those times to do the things that need to be done quickly. Also, remember that in the long run that the child's body will eventually wear out quicker than the average person.


Final thoughts:


Remember that a child is a person who is human and has their own thoughts and dreams so listen to the child and aim for it within their own limitations. So be mindful of how things are said and done.  I know it's not easy but do try.






Sunday, January 2

Depression and cerebral palsy

Is Depression and Cerebral Palsy Connected?



That is a question that a lot of people have. It is also a valid one because of the limitations that cerebral palsy causes within the body and the frustration that comes along with it. It doesn't matter what age of the person with the condition there is always going to be times in their own lives when frustration kicks in.



Depression and children with cerebral palsy:


As a child with cerebral palsy, it is going to be harder for them to communicate what is wrong. It may be because they are different from their classmates. That, either they distance themselves to let the others shine. Or they can be bullied. Which is equally wrong. It's also when the parents or family members either expect the child to do the same as other members without taking into account the issues that the child may have. Or won't let them do what they are capable of by smothering. Therefore they are unable


CP Teens and Depression:





This is when things start to spin if things are not gone unnoticed. Because hormones come into play on top of the normal things going on. Such as school, family stresses and strains, their points of reality when they fully understand what cerebral palsy means for them and their future. So it's worth keeping an eye on what they are feeling and listening to them.



CP  20s with depression:





This is really when things are difficult as when they are working if it is possible because quite often the place of work does not understand the persons' limitations. So if you are working then keep an eye on your mental health. Or if you know of someone who has cp ensure that they are mentally ok.


Cp 30s with depression:





Another decade has moved on and your body has started changing yet again meaning that the frustration again kicks off because you may notice the changes in the way things are done. So this is when the body starts to wear out but not completely noticeable both for the person and friends and families.


CP 40s+ with depression:


It is at this point in life that the changes were beginning a decade. They are becoming more and more noticeable. Which will make the frustration more evident. Therefore it is when depression can be strong in the person's life. So make sure you keep it in check.



Final thoughts:


In conclusion, there is every chance that there will be a depressive episode. At some point in the person's life. However, this is dependent on the person's personal attitude towards life as a whole. And is not always going to be there.


Sunday, December 26

Moving forward with Cp






Ok so you have a child with Cp:


Or you are a young person with the condition. There will be lots of people who are older than you. These people have the best intention in the world and yet get things wrong particularly about your condition. These people may be members of your family but don’t understand the condition. They may think they don’t. You must realise this.


Comments they make:


  • Close your legs.

  • Come on hurry up!

  • You can do better than that!

  • Pick your feet up.

  • Stand still.


These are just some of the ones I have encountered growing up. Even now decades later these confuse me.

You may wonder why I say that. You’ll see.


Growing up and feeling out of place!


Whether you are a single child/part of a bigger family that you live with. You are a member of the family who is reading this with another member with cerebral palsy. Take in mind what is said as it does not matter what people say. There is always a sense of being out of place because we are not classed as normal. There are signs of it in every part of life. This includes clothes, looks, dreams, work, movies,  how we eat and drink, how we speak. But the thing is we are the same as everyone else but parts of our body don’t work the way we want. That can be a real pain sometimes. I want to make sure that everyone understands that it is not always easy to do, what is expected of them because it is not part of their dream. it could be completely different to what is expected. 


What is normal?




What is the question of being normal? Because being normal mean nothing? As a human being. I would have thought being able to give some purpose to the world and each other was better than not being able to do anything or being criticised. Some people who think that being different is not ok are wrong. Wanting to be normal is is a perception and that means being yourself is not acceptable. There are options to be sure to show that being yourself is better than being what everyone else wants. Because it proves that you are what you are meant to be no matter what.   the whole system of being normal is also being portrayed too much on TV  and film because there are not people enough people should I say who are betraying people who are different and this is where the perception becomes the norm.


Growing up!





Personally, I had very much the perception of wanting to be normal but then questioning that whole thing because I was on my own a lot. I watched a lot of TV and films where sexism and racism were the norms and it is not in my eyes until I was older that it made me question myself because  I am different because of cerebral palsy. Growing up despite being an only child and was treated no different than everyone around me. I found it incredibly difficult because I thought I was normal and was able to do stuff but later found that actually, I couldn't. And that made things very difficult and depressive for me because of the feeling of inadequacy.


Trying to be a people pleaser and follow their example makes it very hard on yourself and I have learnt this myself. Now shows that actually being yourself is stronger than r following the Sheep in human Society as a whole. Although at times of medical interventions such as the pandemic right now it is best to follow the guidelines. however, it does not stop you from being yourself within the confines of society.


Teaching people that being different is ok!


Being yourself and showing that being different is out is ok and good for the environment and for Humanity shows that equality in the human race can be done. It may sound stupid but there are still people who perceive that different is not ok and it makes it harder for those of us who want our own dreams and goals to be heard very hard to actually be heard to get what we want within our life.


What next?


What Next? is the question that should be on everyone's mind right now but in every situation. However, cerebral palsy and other disabilities need to be shown that they are accepted and we are valued because whatever is said meant by family members and others make us feel that we're not. So what is next? They might even try and say that but they're trying to help but actually, they're not! The best thing for you to do is firmly but politely say sorry I can't do that. Because the more people learn about the condition and other conditions will be able to be more accepting of other people.


Final thoughts



My final thoughts on this would be to educate people and educate people continually until it is done. however, I don't think it will be at least in my time but hopefully, in my family's next generation. There is such a long way to go to make equality for everybody on this planet.




Sunday, December 19

So We Are Coming Out The Other Side! Of this Pandemic!



We are coming out the other side! 






So it's coming to the end of 2021 and the world has been in the most horrific since the end of 2019 when the world first heard of COVID-19 and the global pandemic first started. I have spoken about this in various posts such as Is this going to be another groundhog year?


But is the new year ahead of going to be the same as the last 2? 


There was a comment made about previous pandemics that I realised was a good observation and that the average time a pandemic lasts is 3 years. The most notable one is the Spanish flu which I mentioned in keeping your distance to stay safe. And that was from December 1918 to the middle of 1921 towards the end of the year.


Right now


Since beginning to write this post there is another variation of COVID-19 that was discovered in South Africa very recently so things have become more difficult again.


But changes are happening all the time so it can be a real struggle to know what to do for the best.




 What can everyone do for now?





The simplest thing people can do is follow the simple rules below.



  • Wear a mask on public transport

  • Wear a mask in shops and restaurants unless eating and drinking.

  • In enclosed places that you don’t usually go wear a mask.

  • Keep your interactions as minimal as possible. But do keep an eye on the elderly and those who are vulnerable.

  • Staying at home as much as you can.

  • Have the injections and boosters

  • Carry hand sanitiser and use it 


Some people won’t follow these but they are putting everyone at risk. So unless there is a valid reason like some kind of medical or physical reason then masks should be worn.


Moving forward!


I mentioned before that in some places people are wearing masks for other reasons such as pollution. This is evident, particularly in Japan and China. Where the pollution is more noticeable. So following the simple rules will make it easier and quicker for things to go back to a similar way as before.


Hope for the future?


There is always hope for the future but this depends on everyone who can take action. It also depends on what actions everyone takes.


What does this mean for the exempt?


The following is what is meant for us who are exempt. 


  • Stay home as much as possible.

  • Have the injections that help everyone.

  • Limit your interactions with others.


I get it that limiting your interactions can make you feel lonely but try to make a routine of seeing someone in your network every day. Even if you don’t touch the people you see it's important to be in touch with them. So that could be through:


  • Texts

  • Phone calls,

  • Zoom or face calls.

  • Meet up at an open space or garden. 

  • Meet at a spacious place. This might be a cafe or coffee place with lots of space.



What ??


So we are all going to be doing indoors? those of us who are indoors more than others may not find as much difference but those who are could follow some of the ideas that I suggest in How are you coping in these strange times

But that is up to you and those around you. But remember that it's not just your life that is being affected by your decisions. It is everyone on the planet.



Final thoughts!


My final thoughts on this are that it is up to everyone to make an informed decision. I will be doing everything I can to ensure that everyone I love and know will be safe.


Sunday, December 12

What does 2022 have for me?

What I think it has?

I think the new year has a lot of good things happening. Not everything is going to be what I wanted it to be. That's ok though just the same as 2021. 

There, as I said, have been lots of changes in the way things are regarding my disability. I think that the changes will be positive for the future to a certain degree. I'm hoping to have the final place, but it may not happen. We'll see. That's ok though because there is always going to be positive and negative. No matter what.
What do I want from 2022 ?

All I want is a way of being able to be safe and yet not stressed out too much. I know that this is going to be a difficult year ahead with the way that my family is going to have a head regarding their own situation such as GCSEs and a new place. We don't know what could actually be happening. We just have to take it month by month. 

So that means that we have to think about what is going on each month and make a small plan so that we have a monthly plan rather than a big goal for the entire year as something we can grasp on to. 
And that's what I think is going to be something that is going to help me as a person with anxiety. But it's also a lesson that I need to learn.

What I don't want from 2022?


I don't want to disabled person to be so stressed out that I'm panicking in a day-to-day situation for everything that has to be dealt with. 
I can manage if things are the occasional hiccup, but if there are lots of things that are causing issues then I will be full of anxiety and not wanting to do anything and instead wanting to hide so that is a negative side of 2022. Knowing what my disability holds in general makes it a lot harder at times to realise what we can do and what can happen and what help we have available.

What will I be doing in 2022?

I will be getting ready for the new home sorting things out to get to that stage and before setting down hopefully in the new final home but we can't confirm or any of that for the next year until the end of the year.  I'm going to be tentative about moving in this time next year, ready for the new place. 

What next?

My plan for now is to take each task that makes the future safe and secure for me and my family. As I know that the future can be very uncertain yet I can make it as safe as I possibly can. That is all I can do for now.
 

Sunday, December 5

December and what it has in store for me?


It's the final month of the year. Quiet often it's a crazy one, getting ready for Christmas.



This is the final month of a bit of space before the year of transition yet again. This year has been amazing in so many different ways.

There has been some problems with the world. What with the pandemic and the way it's still effecting the world in so many ways. 

A lot of things however going, back to normal, as I have mentioned in many of my other posts such as When change is coming and Moving on

Yet recently my brain has decided to almost shut down. I think that's because there's been so much going on that I haven't been able to really deal with things on a daily basis. And so my brain was in so much a disarray.



I have had to plan so much ahead for the future, because things are still up in the air despite being safe for now. I wish to be able just live from day to day rather than have to plan so much ahead. And that is something that I needed because there's only something's that I can plan, but not everything.

What do I think December has for me.

I am hoping that this month can be be a semi restful month with good memories for me and my family. As well as Christmas presents and time with outside members of the family that I don't often see throughout the year.

What do I want from December.

I really want this month just to be a peace and quiet so that I can just live from day to day because of my disability. And get ready for the next year and the future ahead.

What I don't want from December!

What I don't want is a month of stress and anxiety before the new year ahead. So I can manage everything going on in the new 

 


A new direction again.

I have written many posts about cerebral palsy, and moving homes several times. Particularly the new home and everything else to do with it...